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Book One World War Three 1946

Book One World War Three 1946
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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Warning! Extreme Cussing

Another fucking run. God it was hot even for September, almost October. What do you expect for Alabama! It's always hot here from what I've seen so far. Slow it down you asshole. I'm sucking dust back here. I guess that makes you want to be out front. Not me I'm not busting my butt. Holy shit is that an alligator or a crocodile and what is it doing there next to the trail? I'm so tired I can't even scream. Shit I just ran right past a crocodile and didn't faint. Now that's tired. Wait till I tell Bob back home. That will shut him up from some of his war stories. I wonder if I'll have anymore and survive to tell about it or will I get killed coming off the boat, LCI even, Higgins boat. What the fuck, who cares. I never even used to swear in my day dreams or even while I was thinking like this. Now I'm swearing at the top of my lungs if the Corporal orders me too. Amazing how they figure out your buttons to push. A hundred setups or 20 pushups no big deal. Calling my girl a whore, didn't get to me. Making me clean the latrine, a piece of cake. Then the mother fucking bastard noticed I never swore. He zeroed in like a hawk after a mouse. 

Ordering me to cuss every other word for what seemed like hours. What am I going to do when I get home and something slips out. My mom will be so ashamed and so disappointed. I guess I just can't ever go home again. That's stupid...oh Jesus a God damn snake for Christ sake. Oh my God stop it! Stop thinking such awful things to say.

 Alright, alright think about something else like how your legs are going to fall off or how I sure lost that pot belly. Didn't think that would happen. I sure wish I'd have missed this war too like I did the last one. Sat at home with all the girls in town and I was one of the only young guys around. Man that was heaven. I even got to third base with Elaine. God what great breasts. Oh shit not now, not a boner while I'm running. Oh Christ if someone notices I'll never live it down. I can hear it now. There's goes Boner Dietz. Hey Boner let's have a drink. Boner you going to take all night shitting in there.  There's a puddle. 

Okay slip and fall into it. 

Holy shit that stinks!

"What the hell you doing Dietz! Now get the fuck out of there and quite wallerin around like the pig you are and GET BACK ON YOUR FEET! YOU HEAR ME DIETZ YOU COCK SUCKIN GERMAN BASTARD!"
"I tripped Corp."
"I don't give a rats ass if you dove in there. GET THE HELL OUT!
"Yes Corp!"
"You better swear when you say that Dietz!"
"Fuck you Corporal!"
"I can't hear you."
"That's better not get your ass moving."

Damn that was close. Nothing like that ugly bastards face to wipe any thoughts of Elaine's boobs out of your mind. Oh shit there they are! I actually never did see them, but I sure felt them. I guess being a second generation German with flat feet doesn't help in this war. Hell everyone spoke German in Lodi. Lodi Wisconsin, what a great place. Even working in the canning factory wasn't too bad. Lodi's Idol corn and peas. You worked you ass off for 4 months then waited for it to start again. I heard the old man put his brother through dental school and then his brother turned around and put him through school. The story goes he didn't want to be a dentist after all so he started the factory. How in the hell do you start a factory?

 Being one of the few eligible men in town I was in high demand both for work and for making out. Well those days are sure gone. When the GIs came back I was back in second class. They had all these stories and the girls just wanted to hold them all night and take away their nightmares. I wonder what we're in for? All this training for invasion shit. Amphibious operations is all we hear. Hell I rather jump out of airplanes myself. Day after day of climbing those damn cargo nets and wading through the mangrove swamps around Mobile. I wonder how many mangrove swamps we'll find in Moscow for Christ's sake. 

Why can't they invent a slide to get into the boat or how about a Tarzan vine to swing down. Higgins boat, LC, Landing Craft Infantry, who in the fuck cares? Miserable creations the wallow in waves. You're so sea sick before you get to shore you can't possibly shoot straight. What the hell is the army doing learning to invade anyway? Isn't that what the Marines are for?

Oh man just a half mile more. Hell before this I would have walked a half mile much less run it. Someone must be expecting us to do a lot of invading or we are sure wasting our time, which is nothing new in the army. Fucking Russia has no coastline from what I remember or very little. Let's see...something around the Baltic and the Black Sea. But both are hard to get to. OH FUCK! OH SHIT! a fucking cramp. Oh that's just what I need! Damn that hurts. 

"Move your ass Dietz."
"That's what we like to hear Dietz. NOW QUIT FUCKING AROUND AND GET YOUR ASS MOVING."

I don't think anyone is going to believe this when I tell them. I am actually ordered to cuss out my drill sergeant and corporal. Fucking unbelievable! What is father Peters going to say when I have to confess? Please don't let me swear in front of Mom. It will kill her. If I can learn to swear I can unlearn it just as well but first I have to kill Stalin according to the Sarge. Fucking Sarge if you please. Mother fucking, cock sucking Sarge! God damn my leg hurts. At least I'll beat Jennings. What a fat fuck. Strong as hell though. Imagine doing 10 pull-ups and pulling up 250 lbs. I wouldn't want to have him get me in a bear hug. Crush my ribs for sure. At least I can outrun him. What's that saying? I don't have to outrun the bear, just you. He's actually a nice guy. 

The big ones usually are. Some of the nicest guys in school were the offensive linemen. Made to protect the quarterback I guess. Don't see many Negros in Wisconsin. Some in Milwaukee but not in Lodi. Jennings is not a bad sort actually. Talks funny but then again some people think I do too.
 I don't think I do but when people mimic me I guess I do that O thing and say Yah der hey too much. I'm trying to lose the Noa and just say no. It's hard changing how you speak. I wish those southern boys would learn to speak so you could understand them. They expect you to change your way of talking to fit theirs. You know it kind of does become easier to talk like them. Kind of a lazy English. Drives you crazy waiting for them to get the words out that you know are coming. Southern drawl my ass. Southern dull is more like it.  Now Jennings talks a mile a minute. What the hell does that mean anyway, "a mile a minute". 

Oh shit there they are. Imagine running to get on a fucking boat. Well at least there is no waves today. Calm seas makes for an easy ride. Ride back to a fucking transport ship. If I wanted to join the God damn navy I would have joined it. Actually I wouldn't have. Got drafted right after the Reds attacked. I swear I can climb a cargo net better than a monkey. Practice make perfect  is what they say. Practice for what, is what I say.

"Move it, move it, move it!"

Shut the fuck up Corporal!

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